I saw some college friends and acquaintances at a wedding last weekend. Many of them are fleeing California for good in a month or two. Most of them I will, for all practical purposes, never see again.

Some, I hope, will grow up eventually. My fear is that, before they do, they will end up dying in one of those tragic "unicycling while drunk, stoned, and on fire" type accidents.

Some, I hope, will end up wildly successful, although not necessarily in terms of financial stability...they will be theologians, philosophers, and tinkerers with the fabric of reality. All that good stuff. My fear for those is that their brilliance will backfire, and that they will devote all their mental energy to dwelling on their failures and destroying themselves from the inside.

Some, I hope, will be recognized as artists and writers, and enrich Catholic culture through bearing witness to truth/beauty in all its forms. My fear is that they will end up forgoing the good in pursuit of the *shiny*, or submerging themselves in baser pleasures to forget the sense of loss and loneliness inherent in being, umm, lost and alone in a world hostile to all that is truly worthwhile (actually, this fear goes for all of the above).

I fear the same kinds of things for myself. Especially the whole dwelling on one's failures thing (my intellect always works doubletime when it comes to self-beration). Right now, my hopesanddreams are put on hold. Ideally, I'd be some kind of esoteric entomologist, who also studies theology and philosophy, and somehow raises a beautiful family simultaneously. I don't think any of us are close to our ideal life at the moment, nor do we see a path there. But lighten up a bit. It's just life. Being literate, intelligent, in possession of all one's teeth, and within a 10 mile radius of a good used bookstore is more than any medieval scholar could dream of. So, that's my new life ambition. Keeping my teeth. And praying for all of you.