Sooooo...tonight I caused a traffic jam and consequently met a nice highway patrolman! What did YOU do? Hmm? Anything nearly that cool? I didn't think so.

Actually, for once, I did nothing immoral, illegal, or unduly stupid. Rather, my car's emergency brake did not go off automatically when I shifted into drive, and I didn't discover this until I was on the onramp to the 5 in downtown San Diego. Woops. Also, there was no shoulder to speak of, so I was basically blocking a lane of traffic. I turned on the blinkenlights, and tried shifting the car into drive a few more times. Nope. No go. I called triple A, and gave them a confused sense of my whereabouts. They claimed that they would be there in 20 minutes. Meanwhile, people are driving past me at great speed, or better yet, zipping up to immediately behind me, braking, honking, and then driving past at great speed. I didn't really get the honking. Yeah, motorists, I'm sitting here with my emergency lights on just for shits and giggles. Your honking will totally motivate me to start driving again.

Just when I had resigned myself to an early grave, a CHP car pulls up. Hurrah! The officer and I have a powwow over the emergency brake situation. Was there a manual release? No, I said. It always goes off automatically...

Triple A called back. Actually, they won't be there for another hour. Psych! They certainly schooled me. Oh well. Fortunately, God takes care of fools and drunkards; since I'm stuck in the car anyway, I did a little light reading. Flip open the car manual to the section on brakes. Ah, yes. So there IS a way to manually disengage the brake. I found the lever whereof the manual speaks (it was, in my defense, a rather obscure lever). Yup, brakes come off. I walked back to the officer, confessed my idiocy, and drove off.

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

- the female motorist who stopped to make sure I was all right.

- the nice highway patrolman. I'll never speed again, honest.

NO THANKS TO:

- Triple A

- the 500 lb guy at the smog testing place who, I'm convinced, broke the emergency brake to start with