Acquired for the first time ever this summer: the two piece swimsuit. It is a terribly fifties halter top and swishy skirt getup. Standing up, I look like a vintage pin up girl. Sitting down, my stomach bunches up so that I look like a vintage Jabba the Hutt. Or possibly elephant seal. Well, this is obviously the summer of remaining vertical at the beach. Instead of lounging around (sitting!) or sunbathing (potential sitting!), I'll play a lot of...um...what's that game with the nets and things? Yes, I'll play that.

Volleyball, that's it.