I have been doing nothing but drinking coffee and writing all morning. Oh, wait, it's almost 2 pm. Where does the time go? All I need is a maidservant and a few martinis, and my self-indulgent summer vacation will be complete.

I went to get my hair trimmed the other day. The hair dresser was supremely indifferent to my specifications, and so now my hair is uneven when parted on the side (which is where I always part my hair, which I told her...damn her eyes). Also, she managed to get hair clippings all down the back of my shirt, the front of my shirt, and on most of my clothing when she removed the smock. I brushed myself off the best I could and proceeded to the drug store. The cashier, while ringing up my purchases, seemed to be staring intently at my bosom. I was a bit puzzled (my shirt wasn't THAT low cut...in fact, it's TAC dress code). When I got back to the car, I discovered that, due to the heat and humidity, all the stray hair clippings had pasted themselves to my skin so that it looked like I had a hairy chest. Yippee! Now the Long's Drugs cashier thinks that I'm the Amazing Monkey Girl!