Since California has experienced three rather sizeable earthquakes in the space of a week, this might be the time to review our emergency preparedness situation.

Three gallons of water? Check!

Several cans of chicken broth, and one mildewed package of instant mashed potatoes? Check!

An emergency cash reserve of four dollars and twenty-eight cents, all in dimes, nickels, and pennies? Check!

A half bottle of triple sec left over from that one time I made margaritas (so as I can sterilize wounds)? Check!

Two scented candles and a possibly functional lighter? Check!

No idea whatever where the fuse box for my building is? Check!

A fairly sharp kitchen knife with which to fend off scavengers? Check!

Extra batteries for my scented candles? Check!

Toilet paper, and, if that runs out, paper towels, and, if that runs out, the complete works of Plato? Check!

Some aspirin and suchlike futuristic medicinal supplies? Check!

3-5 day supply of underwear? Check!

Bad ass leather jacket (in the event that Southern California goes Road Warrior on me)? Check!

I shall ride out the coming apocalypse with a smirk on my face. If you happen not to be quite as prepared, run out and buy your compasses and snake bit kits and freeze dried tomato soups now. Remember, the life you save may be your own.