After the grueling trek to NorCal, I had about half an hour of good cheer and familial conviviality before the Illness set in. I often get sick when I stay at the ancestral home; perhaps my immune system, lulled by the warm, welcoming atmosphere, relaxes to the point of non-functioning. Or perhaps it's that my younger siblings carry enough narsty germs on their grubby paws to kill a continent's worth of unexposed indigenous peoples. Anyway. In accordance with the adage that every cloud has a silver lining, or was it that every dog has it's day?, here are some good things about being miserably ill:

• stunning weight loss technique! of course, the water bloating from the "drink lots of liquids" routine sort of offsets that.


• you begin to appreciate the small things in life a whole lot more. such as the ability to sit around and exist without hurting.


• high fever introduces swimmy surreality into one's daydreams! cheaper than opium.


• lots of time to sit back and reflect on your life. unfortunately, a lack of clearheadedness during these reflections will inevitably lead you to depressing conclusions, such as "i'm a loser. sob."


• gives one a break from caffeine and alcohol. might be a fine opportunity to give them up altogether! or not.

All right. I'm (sort of) better now, though, and mobility and relative freedom from pain have never seemed so sweet. Is pleasure the absence of pain? I can't remember whether or not Socrates debunked that. Ha. I've forgotten more than most people ever knew! However, this isn't something to be proud of, since I've basically forgotten everything I've ever known. So, actually, I know less than most people.

I hope y'all are having a fantastic July. If not, why don't you write a cunning internet parody of Right Said Fred's classic "I'm Too Sexy." That'll cheer you right up. Here, I'll give you the first line..."I'm, too sexy for this blog, too sexy for this blog..."