For Christmas, my students gave me:

• an insane amount of chocolate...I have six or seven pounds of it on my kitchen table, no joke


• some very nice wine


• two scarves, a pair of fuzzy socks, and some gloves


• finally, a pair of Stewie bedroom slippers which say "Victory shall be mine!"

Do they know me, or what?!?! Now I can spend Christmas being fat, drunk, and warm. Mmmmboy.