Here is a riff on 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, which I composed in honor of my families' Yuletide health status (or lack thereof):

"Now there are varieties of symptoms, but the same illness; and there are varieties of ailments, but the same affliction; and there are varieties of bodily fluids produced, but it is the same illness which inspires them all in every one. To each is given the manifestation of the affliction for the common bad. To one is given through the illness the malady of diarrhea, and to another the malady of vomiting, according to the same illness, to another headache by the same illness, to another fever by the same illness, to another the ague, to another a multitude of blechy symptoms. All these are inspired by one and the same illness, which apportions to each one individually as it wills."