Monday, November 29, 2004

Fecking pictures.

This statue (sorry, the picture really doesn't do it justice) combines garish mirrored mosaics with blatant homoeroticism. Needless to say, Joel is a fan:

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My friends are so good looking. I think this reflects well on me (matt, mel, catherine, joel):

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I don't think matt took his sunglasses off at any point during his two day visit. Perhaps, in reality, his gaping eye sockets drip bilious green ochre. Hohum. Here's matt, mel, me, and joel:

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Mel is being a nerd again. She is reading a fascinating pamphlet which some Jews for Jesus handed us...the gist of it was that the Messiah is a large cartoon duck. I think.

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Sunday, November 21, 2004

Amen, amen dico vobis: Venit hora, et nunc est. Jn V, 25.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

a scene from my evening (reading at a pub)...

fellow: "are you drinking by yourself?!"
me: "yes."
fellow: "do you want company?"
me: "no, that's all right, thanks."

well, it isn't as if i'm averse to company, per se. but this is the decoded version of the conversation:

fellow: "are you drinking by yourself?!"
me: "well, no, actually, i have some of the world's greatest thinkers to keep me company. they are currently disguised as a pile of books at my elbow. pity, i can't find their male equivalents in non-book form. hence, i'm sitting at a pub and reading on a saturday night. sniffle."
fellow: "hunh. you want to swap saliva later this evening?"
me: "no, that's all right, thanks."

Friday, November 19, 2004

The seventh graders had to turn in their science reports a few days ago...I spotted the cover of one, which read, in nice, big letters, "MY VERY SPACEIL GOAT REPORT."

And I'm sure it was.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

reading: dostoyevsky, "notes from underground"

"[I was] delighted that she should turn out to be so clever---never a drawback in a woman, as long as she's pretty."

-dostoyevsky, "white nights"

cultivating: some new herbs and assorted potted plants.

I am growing some lemon verbana (smells nice), lavendar, rosemary, and basil. Looking forward to sprinkling fresh basil on top of my microwaved pizzas, like a proper gourmet.

cooking: home-made potstickers.

I ended up burning them a bit, so I had soy eggnog for dinner instead (a decision which was flawed on many levels, but I'm a grownup now, and can eat eggnog for dinner and stay up till three am making mix cds if I want to, so nyah).

perusing: another envelope of wonderfullness from charlie

Friday, November 12, 2004

I need to meet some people in the area other than my teenaged students. I swear, talking to teenagers makes my brain atrophy...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

So I've lost my voice. Err, completely. Teaching class has been fun...basically, I stand up at the board and provide bullet point outlines of the lecture I was going to give, while my students amuse themselves with exploiting my disability.


Kid: "Miss P! So, how do you add non-perpendicular vectors? Again?"

Me: *painfully hoarse whisper*

Kid: "What??? I can't hear you!!! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Fuckers. That's it, no more homework extensions for them...

And parent teacher conferences are tomorrow. Pity. I was sort of looking forward to informing various parents that their child is a walking advertisement for the ancient Roman tradition of infant exposure. In particular, I would like to have words with the parents of one evil female adolescent who has, among other things, threatened to kill the beta fish living on my desk (kid has issues, man). I'm replacing it with a piranha, or something. Or maybe I'll just tape a sign which reads "Step off, bitch!" to the fish bowl.

Three kids were crying in my sixth grade class today, and not because of anything I did (thank goodness). Rather, the teachers in classes prior to mine had given them detentions for various petty crimes. However, it wasn't until the kids got to my class that they broke down and wept for the injustice of it all. Hell hath no fury like a righteously indignant eleven year old.

Monday, November 08, 2004

I am feeling almost human again (stop the presses!). Mirabile dictu, I have taken the day off of work for the express purpose of wandering around and discharging the remaining snot from my system.

For the guys in the audience: I'm just kidding, girls don't ever, ever produce snot. Also, our farts smell of lilacs.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

I am ill. I have the flu. My apartment is still freezing. My solution? Drink cold beer while taking a warm shower...much better...does wonders for the muscle aches, too...

On the bright side, one of my seventh grade students wrote on her religion test that an early Church heresy about the Incarnation was called "nepotism." Brilliant. Well, I guess God did send His Son...

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

p.s. please pray for the repose of the soul of paul levine, class of 2004.

things my students give me:

- spare change
- glow in the dark temporary tattoos
- food. from other people's lunches. which they steal and give to me. aww.
- live beta fish
- artistic efforts
- the campus newsletter from my alma mater, with my photo circled. actually, they didn't so much give this to me, as have it confiscated from them, when I noticed something being circulated around the room and snickered at. sigh.
- a faux grecian vase style flower pot
- large balls made of crumpled paper and scotch tape. well, I sort of confiscated those too.
- food not from other people's lunches
- random pieces of paper which look vaguely related to my class which they dig out of their lockers and decide they don't want any more.
- advice
- a four foot long wooden club. hey, actually, I took that away from them too. as well as what looked like the world's hugest rubber band. what don't they bring to school?!
- live spiders
- endless amusement. at their expense.

In other news, HOT DAMN, tomorrow's THURSDAY!